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Submitted on
October 19, 2003
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Sleep

a tsetse fly
drinks its next meal

amazing shrieks
the sun, newborn crying,
is sky ilk

under
a maze of feathery canopy;
the Bandundu forest,
gives birth to a
litter of bananas-

grass covered savannahs,
stubborn windblown maize
yearningly sways
to the river, where

water walking fish farmer
casts a drowsy eye
on a school of tilapia
playing in his bamboo den;

a kihuta viper opens
its razor mouth
and belly,
fresh meat
wafting through
endless horizon;

while decadent sockets,
hanging by swollen neck,
sway
as he is carried to the garden.

Burial grounds
burn slowly
like an old antelope
pulses, waiting to slip
into its last coma,

palm stem walls blanketing
the mind's catacombs
while your planted carcass watches
a tsetse fly
drink its next meal.

 
I wrote this around the time I wrote my previous submission and put the " finishing touches" on it today. I am pretty happy with this piece, though I know the path to perfection is a never ending one, just as in all my poems.

As I have said before, most of my poetry is based on true stories. But more than that, my short term goal in my poems is to thrust the reader into another world, one that a painting or sculpture could never capture. Enjoy :)
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Daily Deviation

Given 2005-01-24
Sleep by `wernstrum

Call this filmic, a piece that journeys you through a jungle and makes you see jungle life in a number of spectacles though it never loses its focus on what it came to say in the first place. To me sleep is a high level of focus, especially in the dream state of it, then it’s great to see how all comes to one. ( Suggested by groovus and Featured by ndifference )

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:iconla-dolly-vita:
:clap: Great work, congrats on the DD :deviation:
Reply
:iconhallowedgrounds:
HallowedGrounds May 29, 2007  Student General Artist
You've succeeded in creating that other place. I love fiction, so when something that is non-fiction can carry me into it equally well, I'm very impressed. Beautiful, really... but funny because it is about something that might not necessarily be described as beautiful. Ha... okay, done writing my short novel.
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:iconwernstrum:
I'm glad you enjoyed, and apologize for the lateness of my reply
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:iconflorapudelkova:
florapudelkova Jan 24, 2005  Hobbyist Photographer
looks great, stylish and modern :shamrock:
Reply
:iconxtremez:
Werny baby..........congrats on the daily dev mon, nice read/write job, sweet pic...................drop me a line!
Reply
:iconwernstrum:
hey mate, sorry for the lkate reply. I don't go on this thing much these days. Thanks for you neverending support matey. I really, sincerely, appreciate it. :D
Reply
:icontyhopho:
tyhopho Jan 24, 2005  Hobbyist Photographer
eek - the picture nearly put me completely off - that yellow ...

fortunately i realised it s a poem - and what a poem! strong discordant word images which really capture something of the energy and vitality, the death and renewal of the wild lands of africa

good job
Reply
:iconastigmatic:
+this is tongue gymnastics. it really gave me a kynesthetic pleasure as i read/ thought every word, feeling the shape of the words in my mouth and... it is fun. " ...is sky ilk / under / a maze of feathery canopy", "...grass covered savannahs, / stubborn windblown maize / yearningly sways..." it's the way the words feel when said, even when thought of, that brings the first enjoyment here. neat loop with the tse-tse fly, as the cycle unfolds with rich rythm and images that gain from the correct use of names and terms. the Nature here does not appear stilted or forced in any way: the way you speak about it is self-confident and real. you succeed, then, in the brief creation of this passage to that other world. congrats for the DD.+
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:iconwernstrum:
Thank you for the heartfelt and well composed comment. Much appreciated.
Reply
:iconastigmatic:
+my pleasure :)+
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